Asking questions invests interest, and therefore builds relationship. You can ask questions in a group setting, but it often pays to invest your time and questions in people as individuals long before doing so as a group. Whichever way you go, always ask a second question about their answer – you are digging for who they are, not just there answers. Here are a few ideas of what you could ask a person or group to build relationships in the early stages.
Questions about your Past
- What made you who you are today?
- What person made the biggest difference in your life?
- Why’d you chose the career you did?
- What’s your family like?
Questions about your Present
- What’s constantly on your mind?
- What do you do for fun?
- If you could change the world in one way, what would it be?
- How would you describe your personality (energetic vs. mellow, structured vs. free-flowing, thinker vs. feeler, relational vs. task oriented, paving the way vs. supporting from the back)?
- Do you know what your love language is (touch, time, words, service, gifts)?
Questions about your Future
- Where do you hope to be in 2 years? 5? 10? 25?
- What purchase are you saving for right now?
- When you reach the age of 85, what major accomplishment(s) would like to reflect on to know that your life was “successful?”
Questions about your Marriage
- What about your spouse made you want to marry him/her?
- What is the easiest way for your spouse to see that you love him/her?
- What do the two of you talk about the most?
- What area of your marriage is a noteworthy model for other marriages?
- What are some struggles you have in your marriage?
Questions about your Spiritual Life
- Who is Jesus to you?
- What would God like to change in you?
- Do you have an idea of what your spiritual gifts are?
- Do you feel ashamed about anything when you talk to God?
- When you pray, how do you do it and what do you pray about?
- If you could ask God for one thing that would further His kingdom, being guaranteed that He would give it, what would it be?
- What excites you most about God?
What other questions would you add?