The Art of Good Questions

Asking questions invests interest, and therefore builds relationship.  You can ask questions in a group setting, but it often pays to invest your time and questions in people as individuals long before doing so as a group.   Whichever way you go, always ask a second question about their answer – you are digging for who they are, not just there answers. Here are a few ideas of what you could ask a person or group to build relationships in the early stages. 

Questions about your Past

  • What made you who you are today?
  • What person made the biggest difference in your life?
  • Why’d you chose the career you did?
  • What’s your family like?

Questions about your Present

  • What’s constantly on your mind?
  • What do you do for fun?
  • If you could change the world in one way, what would it be?
  • How would you describe your personality (energetic vs. mellow, structured vs. free-flowing, thinker vs. feeler, relational vs. task oriented, paving the way vs. supporting from the back)?
  • Do you know what your love language is (touch, time, words, service, gifts)?

Questions about your Future

  • Where do you hope to be in 2 years? 5? 10? 25?
  • What purchase are you saving for right now?
  • When you reach the age of 85, what major accomplishment(s) would like to reflect on to know that your life was “successful?”

Questions about your Marriage

  • What about your spouse made you want to marry him/her?
  • What is the easiest way for your spouse to see that you love him/her?
  • What do the two of you talk about the most?
  • What area of your marriage is a noteworthy model for other marriages?
  • What are some struggles you have in your marriage?

Questions about your Spiritual Life

  • Who is Jesus to you?
  • What would God like to change in you?
  • Do you have an idea of what your spiritual gifts are?
  • Do you feel ashamed about anything when you talk to God?
  • When you pray, how do you do it and what do you pray about?
  • If you could ask God for one thing that would further His kingdom, being guaranteed that He would give it, what would it be?
  • What excites you most about God?

What other questions would you add?

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